Today is the second day of debrief for our team in Costa Rica. I cant believe this year is so close to being over and soon I will be back in Ga with my family and friends. As excited and ready as I am to reconnect with so many people my heart is also breaking at the thought of saying goodbye to so many new loved ones i have come to know here in Nicaragua. I think something I am having to realize is that saying goodbye does not nesacarily have to mean forever. God may have more for me in Nicaragua but who knows...i need to rely on him and have faith that whatever he has prepared for my future is good and he is my strength in any situation i may face. His strength is what sustained me during this year when i would miss home or ever felt discouraged and his strength is what will sustain me as i head back home. the thought of leaving here scares me in a way because i am leaving such a community of believers here and going home to many old familiar temptations and situations that have not been a problem for me here in Nicaragua. Its such a different culture and i have so adjusted to this one that I'm in right now and i hope the transition will be a easy one. This week I have been going through the book of 1 Samuel. I dont think i have ever really spent a significant amount of time reading that book but God has been teaching me a lot through it. Mainly about what it means to have integrity. True and complete integrity in whatever you do. I think sometimes i act like eli's sons who made the sacrifice to God but still kept some for themselves. How often do i do the similar thing. Do the right thing for God making sure that i still benefit from it in the end. If not why worry about doing it? I want God to strip away all my selfishness and double-mindedness about things and seek after making sure every act i make is done with integrity. I know i have not always acted with integrity this year in certain situations but God is starting to reveal those moments when i didn't to me and convict me with how i relied on myself before him. As much as i have grown and changed this year...i still see so many areas in my character where i need more of God's Spirit to chip away and mold me into the woman he desires me to be one day. I'm only half way through 1 samuel right now but i would encourage anyone to spend time studying the first 12 chapters and think about how God has called us to live lives of integrity for him and although we wont always get it right...God sees our trying hearts and that means more to him than our failures. (thank you Beth Moore for that little nugget:)

Thank You God for using my team this year. For molding us and changing us into passionate seekers of who you are. Sorry for the many times we or i know i screw up and get caught up in myself. Bless this last week that we have together in Nicaragua. Be with our families and friends at home. Dont let us choose not to take hold of every conversation and opportunity at home because its easier to be different in Nicaragua. Create bold hearts in us in America. Fill us with your joy and peace about the upcoming new season in all of our lives. You are our rock and the one who brought us all here together for a purpose.Now help us take what we have learned and apply it in a different culture and dont let us become discouraged from seeking more of You. I love you and thank You Lord!

Amen.