This past week has been a faith struggle for me. The girls on our team have been doing a Beth Moore Bible Study on Fridays in the morning and I honestly wasn't into it from the beginning. I have actually began to enjoy it though as we are about to go into the 4th week of it. The main message of this study has been faith. I think my biggest hang up about the topic being faith was knowing that I already believe in God. I want to learn about different topics, but anyway I think it was week two that talked about there being a difference between believing in God and believing God. I want to actually believe God for everything he says and what he says about me. So many people believe in God as far as existence goes but to believe God for what he is, speaks about the relationship. Tuesday night during our Vida Joven meeting for Bible Study, I just had to leave. I got up and went out into the yard and just cried. I felt defeated and I knew at the time that it was just a spiritual attack but at the time it just felt awful because it was the first time I have ever truly questioned God to an extent of just wanting to throw in the towel. God has always been the strongest force in my life but all the circumstances in our lives can have a way of causing us to lose heart. So I'm sitting out in the yard at this point still very upset and look up and of course the clouds had covered up all the stars. The stars have always captivated me and been the greatest way  God has ever really shown his glory to me. I know it sounds corny but oh well...I started praying "God, I want to see the stars. I need to see your beauty right now because I'm falling in a hole of faith right now". A few minutes later I looked back up to find a crystal clear sky with some awesome stars. Yes, you can chop that up into weird Nicaraguan weather but I know what my heart was feeling at that moment and I believe God sees the desires of our hearts and opened up the clouds for me where I was sitting. For some reason that provided me with the hope that I needed to remember why I put my faith in God in the first place.